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Sugar Daddy Dating: A Very Personal Stimulus
February 13, 2009 10:12 AM ET | Kimberly Palmer | Permanent Link | Print
This guest blog entry, from Stephan Smith, a blogger at SeekingArrangement.com, explains the popularity of financially-motivated dating from the perspective of someone who's done it. For more on why the recession seems to have created growth in this industry, see "Sugar Daddies and the New Prostitution Index."
I never strongly opposed the idea of finding a sugar daddy, but it wasn’t until after the economic collapse that I began to reexamine my reservations about being spoiled in return for my ‘companionship’. My journey as a male ‘sugar baby’ seeking a ‘sugar daddy’ began on SeekingArrangement.com – a new site that’s becoming much more than just a dating site for many young, struggling sugar babies like myself.
Sugar daddy arrangements are fast becoming a popular alternative for those seeking no frills instant gratification.
For me, conventional dating went out with the Bush administration, and the time was ripe for adding a lucrative twist on my dating life. Single, underemployed, college-sighted and broke, I was aware that in order to survive this era of change, I would need to monetize – everything.
Committed, long-term, traditional relationships can be a beautiful thing…but most of us can share sob stories resulting from relationship drama.
Since the global economic collapse, millions of people have lost their jobs, and the financial well being of a potential mate is more important than ever. But what’s the difference between a ‘sugar baby’ and a money grubbing ‘gold digger’?
Unlike a ‘gold-digger’, a sugar baby doesn’t set out to marry a rich man to ‘settle down with’. Sugar babies don’t settle, nor do they seek ‘commitment’ or superfluous obligations from their intimate partners.
One of the unique aspects about this type of dating is that people who would otherwise only date within their 'appropriate' or familiar social niches, are inclined to arrange mutually rewarding relationships with those well outside their socio-economic class. It’s an ironic way of overcoming the ill effects of social stratification. It's a way for me to meet an end without the pretense of monogamy, commitment, or sacrificing all dignity with a sex-for-money transaction. In this economy, what intelligent, upwardly mobile young person wouldn't consider a mutually beneficial arrangement (physical or platonic), to help keep hope alive?
Today’s emerging ‘sugar babies’ are self-empowered recession savvy millennials, and we know an opportunity when we see one. What’s the problem with adding a little sugar to an already Craigslist-afflicted personal life?
Dating to climb the social ladder is definitely more appealing than a cheap, brute, one-night-stand. Like many others, I've passed up opportunities to have a sugar daddy in the past, but the concept of creating an 'arrangement’ had the clarity I sought; I would get financial support and competitive edge from discreet relationships with rich and powerful men. These days, if I have to choose between a sugar daddy, and a quickie with 'cutie4now23', I'll take the sugar daddy, please.
A sugar daddy arrangement can be a unique, enriching experience between people who understand, and value the meaning of reciprocity.
Love and money have been intertwined throughout human history, and as the credit crunch tightens, more and more men and women will find sites like SeekingArrangement.com sweeter than ever.
Tags: personal finance
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Reader Comments
Read all 24 comments about this article
Your profile
I thought your interview was honest and open. I as a heterosexual female I always appreciate honesty. As like yourself, I have thought of this time of lifestyle for sometime and have just joined the family today! I wish you all the best in your search as I hope you bless me the same. Good luck Stephan! Congrats for being honest and believe me, I've been a serial dater as of late, and I know you will find someone who will treat you well, keep and make you happy! Take care!
Sexy Tazz of XX
Mar 06, 2009 15:49:13 PM [permalink] [report comment]
sugar daddies rebuttal
"If you have the courage, read the Bible and you will find the basis for the rights and wrongs of this argument."
And who told you the Bible is any basis of any right or wrong argument? Was it the priest who abused the alter boys while he's preaching the bible to you? Or have you forgotten that the Bible was but written by the Romans -- more specifically by Emperor Constantine and his council in the third century as a basis for political power. Now we all know Emperor Constantine is hardly a Saint!
Let's just keep the Bible out of this debate, and keep your close minded views to yourself.
Duke Paul of CA
Feb 22, 2009 03:56:58 AM [permalink] [report comment]
Great to see others speaking out
It's so wonderful to see others in the sugar lifestyle coming out in public. When the concept got it's first buzz commenters treated those who chose to talk about their sugar relationships like social pariahs. I loved hearing this testimony from a gay sugar baby! Such a nice twist... more power to you Stephan. And this coming from someone who's published on her own sugar relationship (so maybe I'm a little biased!)
Melissa Beech of PA
Feb 20, 2009 02:08:02 AM [permalink] [report comment]
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